I was inclined to write this note because of the many messages that I've gotten from different people, whether it be family members or friends that I don't talk to every day. The first question is, "Are you and your boyfriend still together?" Why yes, we are. And the response is always, "Must be nice" or "Everybody ain't able." To that, I say it actually is really nice, but I also feel that everybody IS able! Yes, we've been together for 3 years but that doesn't mean we've gone without problems. But if you're serious about someone you don't break up for every LITTLE problem. Not to say that cheating, abuse and things of that nature should be excused because those are things I don't condone.
With that said, I know people will say that you can't control the other person's actions, which is true. But the closest thing you can get to it is knowing what you're getting into before you get into it. I feel that in order to have a relationship you have to both have a common goal. If that person doesn't want anything serious, you can't make them. Also your future goals need to be somewhat similar, if you plan to graduate college sometime this century, or get a better job than what you have now, it's probably not the best idea to try to be with a person who's comfortable with sitting on their butt all day. It's more common for them to bring you down to their level than it is for you to pull them up to yours. You can't help who you are attracted to but you CAN help who you involve yourself with on that level.
When you dream up your perfect mate, do you dream of a perfect person? Or a person perfect for you? I think as humans we expect more than what's possible and in some cases more than what we're entitled to. When choosing, what standards do you hold them to? Are they the same standards you hold yourself to? Your relationship resume, much like your career resume is very important. Males? Some of you would like to marry a virgin, or someone with few partners. How many have you had? Ladies? We sometimes want a prince charming, one that will wait on us hand and foot. Will you do that? (Just examples people, don't get hung up on them.)
It's all about giving just as much as you want to receive. Fighting for it, if you think it's worth it. Being in a relationship because that's what you want and not because all of your friends are in them. It's about not sticking around if you're not getting what you need out of a relationship. It's okay to be single. There's no need to rush and find a boyfriend/girlfriend. It's okay! We're young! Just live! Let that relationship find you, whether it happens when you're 18 or 58. Don't force it. If it's forced it'll never work. Be private. Don't get advice about YOUR relationship from 100 different people. You'll get 100 different opinions about what they would do IF they were in your position. Ask advice only from that person whose opinion you TRULY trust, and even then, make your own decision.
I don't have a perfect relationship, but the relationship is perfect for me. We work through our problems, we don't run away from each other. We accept each other, our bad habits, flaws, lifestyle, family and friends. Yes we argue, yes we get annoyed at each other sometimes, but we always come back. We're still going strong because we love each other, we want to be together. We're in it together, no one person is trying to make it work. That's the beauty of it. Find someone who wants you just as much as you want them and everything else will fall in place.
With that said, I know people will say that you can't control the other person's actions, which is true. But the closest thing you can get to it is knowing what you're getting into before you get into it. I feel that in order to have a relationship you have to both have a common goal. If that person doesn't want anything serious, you can't make them. Also your future goals need to be somewhat similar, if you plan to graduate college sometime this century, or get a better job than what you have now, it's probably not the best idea to try to be with a person who's comfortable with sitting on their butt all day. It's more common for them to bring you down to their level than it is for you to pull them up to yours. You can't help who you are attracted to but you CAN help who you involve yourself with on that level.
When you dream up your perfect mate, do you dream of a perfect person? Or a person perfect for you? I think as humans we expect more than what's possible and in some cases more than what we're entitled to. When choosing, what standards do you hold them to? Are they the same standards you hold yourself to? Your relationship resume, much like your career resume is very important. Males? Some of you would like to marry a virgin, or someone with few partners. How many have you had? Ladies? We sometimes want a prince charming, one that will wait on us hand and foot. Will you do that? (Just examples people, don't get hung up on them.)
It's all about giving just as much as you want to receive. Fighting for it, if you think it's worth it. Being in a relationship because that's what you want and not because all of your friends are in them. It's about not sticking around if you're not getting what you need out of a relationship. It's okay to be single. There's no need to rush and find a boyfriend/girlfriend. It's okay! We're young! Just live! Let that relationship find you, whether it happens when you're 18 or 58. Don't force it. If it's forced it'll never work. Be private. Don't get advice about YOUR relationship from 100 different people. You'll get 100 different opinions about what they would do IF they were in your position. Ask advice only from that person whose opinion you TRULY trust, and even then, make your own decision.
I don't have a perfect relationship, but the relationship is perfect for me. We work through our problems, we don't run away from each other. We accept each other, our bad habits, flaws, lifestyle, family and friends. Yes we argue, yes we get annoyed at each other sometimes, but we always come back. We're still going strong because we love each other, we want to be together. We're in it together, no one person is trying to make it work. That's the beauty of it. Find someone who wants you just as much as you want them and everything else will fall in place.
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